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| Saint Nil Sorsky. |
For
those who sincerely seek to repent, and who seek God in love and fear, and have
Him alone before their eyes and walk according to His commandments, God will
accept all of them, granting his mercy and giving them His grace and glorifying
them. Thus all of Holy Scripture assures us of this.
In
ancient times many Fathers themselves walked in this exemplary way of life
and, directed others accordingly. But now it is not the same, due to a great
lack of such spiritual directors. But whoever dedicates himself completely to
the work of God, God's very own grace will wisely guide him, being his strength
now and for all ages, in the life to come.
But to those who do not desire to
undertake the ascetical life and are full of vanity, even in our present time
God does not give His gift as He did to the saints of old. Such persons, the
Apostle Paul calls the seduced ones who lead others astray. Persons such as
these do not wish to listen to the fact that God's grace is always in this
moment available. Gregory of Sinai calls them the utmost blinded, nonfeeling,
unwise persons, lacking in faith. We, discerning from the holy Writings, if we
wish diligently to be occupied with the divine world, should distance
ourselves as far as possible from the vanities of this world. Let us be
engaged in uprooting the passions, keeping our heart from any evil thoughts and
fulfilling in general all God's commandments.
In
general in this matter of guarding the thoughts, St. Hesychius of Jerusalem
offers us four ways:
1.
To guard
the thoughts at their first manifestation, that is to say, to follow or observe
them and resist them at the very beginning;
2. To hold
the heart silent at its deepest center where it is free from all phantasms;
3.
To call
upon the Lord Jesus Christ for help;
4. To have
before you the remembrance of your own death.
All these ways close the doors to evil
thoughts. And each of these methods, whichever one you may choose, this is
called "nepsis", or sober vigilance of our mind, in a word, known simply as
"mental activity." Paying attention to all of these ways, each of us
should undertake the battle according to what is the best way for himself.
By what means we may gain strength to resist
the attacks of evil thoughts.?.
One way
to strengthen oneself in the inner battle and the struggle against temptations,
described in all the Writings, consists in this, that when we will be attacked
by evil thoughts, we will not be disheartened, nor become depressed, nor give
up nor discontinue the longer course itself on the road of the ascetical life.
When we are bitterly assailed by sordid temptations, the cunningness of the
devil instills in us the false feeling of shame so that we will be hindered
from turning our eyes to God in heartfelt repentance and petitioning for
strength to turn against such thoughts. But let us conquer these thoughts by
constant repentance and unceasing prayer, and not surrender our arms to our
enemies, that is, let us not turn back, even though each day we receive from
them a thousand wounds. Let us firmly determine never to give up this life
giving activity, even until the moment of our death. For along with such
temptations, we receive also a secret visitation of God's mercy.
But when
we are deemed worthy of the presence of God's gift of grace, we should not
become careless, that is, we should not give in to complacency nor become
puffed up. Rather, we should turn humbly to God and give thanks to Him and
remember our sins, which we have committed by His permission. Recall how, we
have fallen so low then and how animal-like was our unthinking mind. Let us meditate
on the depraved condition of our nature. Ponder upon the impure thoughts and disgusting
fruits which gripped our souls when they were frozen without the warmth of
God's grace. Let us imagine that time of torturous and disordered movement
which overtook us, not so very long ago when we lay in such blindness. Let us recall
how quickly and suddenly we bowed down before our passions as we took delight
in them only to heap more burdens upon ourselves in the darkened state of our
mind. And let us remember all of this as we weep and reproach ourselves.
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| "Apart from me you can do nothing" John 15:5. |
Consider
this, that God's divine providence brings all this upon us in order that we may
be humbled. See what blessed "Gregory of Sinai" teaches about this purpose:
"Until a person will have experienced having been utterly defeated and
conquered, until he has been deeply wounded by every kind of passion and
temptation, even if he does not receive evil wounds inflicted upon his soul as
he does not find any help in the actions he performs nor any help from God or
from any other creature, so that he is driven to the condition of despair,
only then can he have true repentance and be humbled to consider himself lower
than all others, since he regards himself as the least slave before all others
and the worst of even the devils themselves. Only then can he realize that he
was beset and conquered by them."
And so
divine providence arranges this, for the purpose of instructing a person in
humility. After such an experience, there always fellows a second and greater
gift from God. God elevates the individual by giving to the humbled person the
divine power to act and accomplish in him all things, even to perform miracles
as he realizes he is God's instrument.
Pay
attention to this with fear. If you are not humble in your wisdom, grace will
leave you and you naturally will be defeated by your being tempted by ordinary
daily temptations. For you are unable to stand steadfast in virtue by your own
power. This is the work of grace which upholds you as a mother carries her
child in her arms. God's grace protects you from all adversity. We must pay
great attention to this, so that we will not be guilty but will actually be
strengthened by the occasion of evil thoughts. Otherwise, this happens in such
circumstances when we journey on the divine path, and we do not progress
rightly, not sincerely and not steadily. Thus, whoever wishes to strive for
perfection in God's love, who truly seeks to be saved and strives to do God's
work, such a person should live in his cell (inner being) with great zeal and
attention and, as much as his strength allows, let him live the ascetical life
in all details in accord with the holy Writings, fulfilling all with piety in
humility and always with zeal, without any laziness and weakening.
When you pray against the evil thoughts, and they still only assail
you all the more and increase in number and you cannot keep your mind in your
heart, then pray an oral prayer without ceasing, with strength and patience. If
you find yourself becoming a bit slothful and fatigued, then call on God for
help and force yourself to continue praying as best you can, never giving up on
praying. Then all such thoughts will depart from you, as they are driven out by
God’s help. When you calm the mind from such phantasms, then enter into your
heart and pray the prayer of the heart or the mind. For ever though there are
many good works, their value is only a partial good. The prayer of the heart is
the source of all good and is likened to gardens that are refreshed by water,
so does this prayer of the heart refresh the soul, as "Gregory of Sinai" teaches.
Reference:
Nil Sorsky. The Complete writings. Paulist press.(2003)