"I Want".The miraculous healing of the paraplegic, Stavros Kalkandi.

The following story is not a well written narration created by the fantasy of a dreamer, nor a fairy tale for simple children's minds, nor is it a planned, fabrication which serves sane determined purpose. Rather, it is my true to-life testimony; the story of my life; a life which has passed through many painful stages and undergone many struggles and agonies until it finally found its correct meaning and its correct path, leading me close to God.

The War of 1940-41 found me as a twenty year old youth serving in the Martial Air force. In April, 1941, I received a Wound in the cervical part of my spinal cords lower marrow, while I was on an assignment. This brought about a certain spinal hemorrhage (eiparachnoeidis), and partial paralysis of the lower organs. In other words, I became a paraplegic.

The German occupation then followed.

Because my condition slowly began to improve, I went to the Middle East as an officer. There, I had the misfortune of reinjuring my neck which resulted in the aggravation of my condition. In April, 1947, after the war ended, the homeland sent me to America. As soon as I arrived there, I underwent an operation on my spinal column. I left the operating room worse than I got in. They diagnosed spastic tetraplegia with ortho­bladder (orthokystikon) disturbances. I then became a tetraplegic (paralyzed in both arms and legs). I stayed in America until 1957. Then I returned to Greece. I had a few flashes of improvements; however, without any positive results.

In 1957, my health again became worse, and once more, I departed for the United States of America.

In 1961, I returned with full Tetraplegia and Orthocystic disturbances.

From 1961 until June 1970, I was at the National Institution for the Restoration of Invalids at Palaio Psychiko, where I was being treated. I was fully paralyzed.

In 1968, I again visited America for a few months.

In 1974, Dr. Rask invited me to America again to examine me and to ascertain precisely what had happened. Ascertainment: Dr Rask with his staff declared that this was a miracle. As soon as the Israeli Doctor Kouper saw me walk­ing, he freely shouted, "This, Stavros, is a phenomenon for science!."

It is very difficult for me to narrate, in few lines, the events concerning the progress of my condition which cover so many years; as well as the stirring and changes of soul which took place within me during all those years.

It is difficult for me to chronologically list the successive emotions I felt; the hopes which would come and take me aflight on their wings, and the despairs which would darken the world around me. Like waves which come and lift us up to the crest and then dash us down to the bottom, the various emotions filled me one following another leaving me in deep hopeless­ness and despair in the end.

I cannot describe what I went through when a fly bothered me on the forehead and I could not make a small motion to chase it away, nor when the sweat ran so bothersome down my face, and I was unable to lift my hand to wipe it off. For this reason, I am not simply writing the story of my life, but confessing and unfolding the deep creases of my soul, precisely as the waves came and the wind beat against it, so that all the wounds and pain which worked on my soul can be shown.

Furthermore, this is being told to reveal how the Divine Grace changed these wounds into blessings, peace and joy.

Once, after my operation, the great scholar and humanist, Dr Howard Rask, Professor of Natural Medicine at the University of New York, told me in a supplicating tone "Please Stavros, pray to God. Pray constantly. Do this please for me, even if you do not believe in him ... "

I left greatly shook up and kept saying to myself: "What an irony! I came to America to be healed and the American doctor is sending me to GOD!" I wondered while I was lying in bed that night, and said, "But why does this man insist so much that I go and find God? Who has seen God? How can someone communicate with God? Is that an easy thing to do?" I therefore began to investigate and examine my thoughts. “What is God?”. For hours I tortured my mind with all these questions; awaiting an answer which natu­rally did not come. For hours, these thoughts and quandaries tortured me. In the end, I suf­fered confusion, and inertia of thought.

As soon as my thoughts began to examine and investigate this topic, they would stop and wait. What are they waiting for?" I could not understand. Amidst this cessation of thought, a strong voice shot up from within me: "My God, I want to approach you, but I do not know how." I said it with all my strength. It seemed to me that my whole being and all my strength concen­trated on these two words, "I WANT".

Jesus resurrecting 

the paralytic of  Bethesda.

"I WANT" are small words; however, they have a very great importance. The way we say it is im­portant. Warmly, fervently or in a burning way?. We must lean our entire will in the hands of the Almighty God: then He will act as God in the most perfect manner, and grant us His peace within. I realized this much later.

When I returned from America, they placed me in the Institution for the Restoration of Invalids (KAPAPS), in Old psychic.

Meanwhile the thought, How will I find God?, tortured me. I had now started to believe that the "WANT" which I told God would bring about the desired result, and that I would meet God. Truly, I saw that the Lord made many steps to­wards me, the sinful and unworthy one, as a result of this response.

Quite a few years had passed since I had returned from America, when, on the morning of  May 30, 1961, a white-bearded elderly monk, the messenger of God, appeared at the Institu­tion. I heard him asking, "Who, my children, recently came from abroad?".

When they showed him my bed, he approached me and asked: “Have you come, my child, from abroad?". "Yes, Father" I answered. He gave me his hand ... "But my hands," I told him "my hands are paralyzed, I cannot lift them up." "And your feet" he asked? "And my feet also" I told him. "May the name of God be glorified" he said!. I looked at him with curiosity. Then he began asking me how I was injured, where I was from, and other things.

Thinking that he was asking me out of curi­osity, and because I wanted this questioning to stop, I told him: "Father, who are you looking for? Tell me so that I can help you find him."

"I am not seeking anyone else, my child, I came for you." "For me?." "Yes, I came to tell you a few words and then I will leave."

"Well then, Father," I told him "since you came for me, sit in the chair and tell me whatever you want." So he sat down and told me; "My child, be happy that you are in this condition". I looked at him with surprise and answered, "How can I be happy" since I am paralyzed?".

 "Yes, my child, but now you are close to God. You had gone far away. He loves you, so be careful never to murmur against him; for you do not know what He reserves for you up to the end of your life. Always place your hope in Him." "Priestly talk for consolation," I told myself. Nevertheless they were prophetic words which were fulfilled ten years later.

When he got up to leave, I asked him: "But, Father, won't you tell me who you

Saint Philotheos Zervakos.

are?" "Yes," he answered, "My name is Philotheos Zervakos and I am the abbot of the Loggovarda Monastery on Paros." "And who sent you to me?" I asked. He smiled with a humble air and said: "Whatever you need my child, write me, and I will help you." He made the sign of the cross over me, bade me farewell and turned to leave"."One last question Father," I shouted, "Is it difficult for someone to approach God?". "Oh my child, as difficult as it might seem, it is really very easy. If you really want to be close to God, and you really desire this, pray for it. Confession and Holy Communion are the first steps. Are these things difficult my child?", "If it is only these things, then it is very easy", I responded. I thanked him and he left.

After a few months, and after my sincere confession, I asked Father Philotheos if we could go to the Church of St.Nectarios together to pray. I felt that I would be strengthened in my trial. He gladly accepted. We then went to Aegina, and after we climbed to the Church of St.Nectarios, a Supplication Service was held. I was moved with deep contrition. I thought that I was in Heaven itself and that God was approaching me. This made me feel alleviation, as if something was leaving which until now burdened my soul.

When the Supplication service ended, I came out of the Church and a lady approached me, asking, "Who was that other priest celebrating the Supplication service in the Altar?”."Who else? It was Father Philotheos" I answered. "No, not Father Philotheos," she repeated, "I am asking you about the other priest". Because I had seen only Father Philotheos, and she insis­ted that another priest had taken part in the Supplication service, we asked Father Philo­theos if there truly was another priest in the Altar. Father Philotheos then asked the woman, "Did you see him?" "Yes, I saw him Father." "What was he doing?" "He was blessing," she answered.

“He was St. Nectarios, my child." Upon hearing these things in amazement, I also turned to ask Father Philotheos: "Did you see him Father?" "Of course I saw him", he answered, "and he spoke to me concerning you. "I felt a new stirring inside, a new commotion. My soul was filled with a particular rejoicing-a sec­ret joy which I could not explain.

When I returned to the institution, my invalidity no longer concerned me, this is the miracle. Most of the time, man seeks the res­toration of his physical health, while God, be­ing omniscient, grants the salvation of his soul, which is infinitely more precious than the health of the body. In order for us to reach the restoration of physical health, the miracle must first take place from within; that is, we must be rid of the old man first, and then put on the new.

From that day, I felt that I was precisely like the others; those who are healthy physi­cally. I felt that I had a great strength in me. But when I returned to the Institution and saw the invalids again, in despair and full of the feeling of abandonment, dragging their mis­fortune one next to the other, I was overcome by an immense sadness. How much I would have liked all these suffering men to experience the alleviation and the moving feeling which I felt in Aegina, at the Church of St. Nectarios.

Meanwhile, my visits to the Church of St.Nectarios in Aegina were frequent; sometimes with Father Philotheos, and sometimes with my relatives. By now, it became a vital need for me to visit to pray to the Saint. Each time I visited him, I would ask him to intercede to the Lord to grant me not my full health, but only my one hand, so that I could chase the flies and the mosquitoes from my forehead, who tortured me so much. I suffered. When I returned to the in­stitution, I felt much strengthened in soul.

Though the health of my soul was continual­ly getting better, my physical health steadily grew worse. In 1969, I suffered thrombophlebi­tis from blood clots. I had a small operation on the heel of my right foot (an incision of the tendons), and for a certain amount of time I was in a cast. Then I received a phone call from the Elder. He asked me if I wanted us to go with him to Aegina, to pray to St Nectarios. Even though I was in this condition, I did not hesitate to go with him to pray. My faith in the power of prayer had now become firmly established inside me, and nothing prevented me from making use of every opportunity.

We went together with the Elder, Father Leontios, my mother, my brother, and two sol­diers who aided me. It was the Feast of the Holy Fathers. Father Philotheos honors and venerates the Holy Fathers in particular. After he celebrated the Divine Liturgy and we all received Holy Communion, a strong desire came to me to venerate the Relics of St. Nec­tarios. I asked the Elder to ask the Abbess to place the Holy Relics on my paralyzed feet. I asked for this, because I never managed to venerate the Relics of the Saint, on account of the great inflexibility of my body.

My attendants helped me place my hands on them. I was wholly shaken. I wholly trembled. I felt that I was embracing the whole Saint and not the reliquary. Suddenly, these words came out spontaneously from within me:

Saint Nectarios.

"Saint, I did not come to ask you for anything today; but I came to offer myself completely to Christ. You know what you must grant me. If you should not grant me anything, at least grant me to become a soldier of our Christ, so that I may become cause for His Name to be glorified, no matter what position I am in, upright or paralyzed. Show me, 0 Saint, that you are hearing my prayer, so that I may be strengthened in this trial of mine." This was my whole prayer.

I left pleased and very calm. An infinite peace had filled my soul. I was now certain that the miracle would come. I can say that I awaited it. At every moment, I awaited an invisible hand to lift me up. Ten days after we had gone on that last pilgrimage to Aegina, I got ready, as I did every morning, to do my usual exercises. Suddenly, I felt like some­thing was loosened inside me. I felt as if I had been tied up and now let loose.

I felt the need to get up on my own. I called the nurse Demetrios Schortsanitis and the driver John Chatzaki, and told them: "Men, help me attempt to get up on my own-without machines (Every morning they put me on special orthopedic machines in order to make the legs firm). "But, you will fall", they told me. "No, " I answered," I will get up on my own; I just want you to help me a little." They hesi­tated, but when they saw that I insisted, they lifted me up. Oh what a miracle!!.. I saw that I was standing up, and that my knees were not buckling as they would on other occasions I then wanted to open my legs to walk but believe me, I had forgotten how a man walks. I asked them to show me what to do so I could walk. They looked at me in surprise, and told me to lift the one foot forward and then the other. I attempted this and saw that everything was going well. There is no way I can describe my psychological state of mind at that moment to you, nor impart my agony to you nor explain the longing and the strength which drove me to move my feet those first steps without the fear of falling and crashing down. Who can describe my joy when I saw that I stood up and made steps without an aid! This; I leave to your imagina­tion.

My first thought was to devote my first steps in the Chapel of the institution as a sign of gratitude to our Most Merciful Lord. I did not have anything else to offer him.

Subsequently, I called the institution doc­tors Demetrios Mouroulis and John Konstantakis, the nurses and the Physiotherapists Christos Christopoulos, Demetrios Teigganon, George Ana­gnostaki and Panayiotis Bakouros; the ladies Chris Michalakou, Poly Pateli, and M. Tsakona, and others. I posed the question to them, "Do you believe it is possible that I will walk someday? I know I have complete paralysis, atrophy, degeneration of the muscles and blad­der disturbances. With all this, I would like you to tell me if I will someday be able to get up." The orthopedic doctor, Dr Mouroulis, spoke first, "We know that you are an invalid physi­cally and not mentally. Since you know your condition, why do you ask? No, Mr. Kalkandi, you will not be able to!."I asked the others: "You Mr. Konstantaki?"

"Unfortunately not."

“You Mr. and Mrs. Physio­therapists?” They all answered negatively.

"However, I sincerely tell you that I can arise, stand up and walk." They asked me:

“What do you rely on. On what basis do you say all these things?"

"On God alone," I responded. I support myself on the love of God."

 "Will you get up now?", they asked again.

"For you, I will get up tomorrow. I desire to devote my first steps to God". After

Stavros "walking" with Father Philotheos Zervakos.

these words, I left them. I told the men not to say anything to anyone about what they had seen earlier.

In the evening, we called the patients to the Church so that they could witness the mira­cle. There, I announced to them that the time had came for me to walk, and that they should have fervent faith and absolute trust in God, and someday sooner or later, their turn would come; for God is not a man to make discrimina­tions. "I am not better than you," I told them subsequently, "but the will of God is unsearch­able."

Meanwhile, Father Theseus, the Institution priest arrived and asked, "What is

going on children; what are you waiting for?" "Father,." I told him, "The time has come for me to walk." "Glory to God," he said, "it is the eve of the Feast of the Holy Unmercenaries." He gave me the Icon of the Holy Unmercenaries to venerate. The men lifted me up by my arms. I got up, and started walking steadily in the Chapel, chanting with tears in my eyes, "Who is a Great God, like our God ... "

What a moment that was. All the disabled patients started crying and shouting loudly, telling God that they would like to walk like me also. They asked God to help them. This was something in­conceivable and indescribable; with what power of soul we chanted the supplication service and glorified the Lord of Heaven and earth. As you realize, whoever saw me afterwards remained dumbfounded!.

Now, all-who had pushed the Divine Almight­iness aside and supported themselves on their scientific knowledge alone, saw me walking, moving my hands, driving the car, rowing, etc. They all remain astonished and just shrugged their shoulders.

Here, I would like to tell you the factors that helped me to arise: My faith in God, the loving companion of man, pain, the implementation of the commandment of love for ten months, and the prayers of my spiritual Elder, Father Philotheos, and those of my mother.

Stavros telling his story.

"Great is Thy Glory, 0 Lord; for Thou sent us pain and trials to teach us ... What a great benefit, this pain had granted me all those years, I had it as company!. If it had not been for this pain, I would never have turned to God. The old man had flooded my soul and all my existence. But the All-merciful Lord, with His infinite love, sent this great trial upon me which guided me to find the correct path of life that I had completely lost. Behold the great meaning of pain!. Happy will be those who will feel it in time and find the true LIGHT which is CHRIST. Our Christ is always near us, by our side, and ready to help us; all we need to do is to call upon Him.

Only Christ is the Light of the world, the Truth, and the Life. The Lord warns us, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Every kind of sadness, illness, poverty, abandonment, etc. make the heart soft. They urge us to pray, they guide us to repentance and to confession, they cultivate patience and love, and they promote the human being morally and spiritually, guiding him to salvation.

Reference:

The Blessed Elder Philotheos Zervakos (1986), Stilianos Kementzentzidis.